If there is anything that helped me lived through peer pressure in higher institution, ....(because that was the first time I was completely free from the watchful eyes of my parents), it was the words of my father!
His words of advice reverberated on my head every time as if he was with me and that kept me in check.
His words were adorned with his personal stories, happening around, events, ....I mean the little things you can relate with and the much he knew about the Bible.
Most humans love adventures once in a while, your hormone-infused teenager isn’t an exemption!
That you tell your teen not to do something doesn’t guarantee compliance.
If hitting and yelling put your teen in check when he is with you, what happens on the day of emancipation, maybe when he goes to a boarding school or finally to a higher institution?
Controlling your child will bring a temporal obedience while your Influence will bring about a lasting solution.
You have influence on your teen by intentionally building healthy relationship, connection and providing a friendly environment in your home where they can make mistake and not be condemned but see it as a learning curve while you deploy such as teachable moments.
If you give your children instruction without giving them the reason behind it, it isn’t complete and they might obey as a child because they still very dependent and trust your judgement to a large extent!
But by the time they become a teen, you are on your own,
O.Y.O!
You are lucky if your teen even ask you why he shouldn’t do something and try to talk you into it, but you see the ones that will just keep mute and act as if all is well, #nadem!
In their mind,
“When you are through, let me know!”
Their decisions remain intact!
Whether they get caught at the end is a discussion for another day!
Whatever thing you desire your teen do or not do, back it up with facts, reasons.....not just some feeble old time tales that hasn’t passed the test of time.
Take for instance, telling your teen boy that it’s prisoners who sagged their trousers because they weren’t provided with belts is obsolete!
People use belt and sag at the same time now!
All their online personalities and role models, with lots of billion in the “akants”, private jets, sag their trousers and they aren’t prisoners.
They might have the boldness to tell you this but be rest assured that avalanche of thoughts are going on in their minds as they stand before you like armies in a parade and almost in a pitiable way beholding you because of the level of ignorance you arrogantly displayed!
Parents, we must upgrade!
We cannot afford to be ignorant in dealing with the 21st century child!
As I was saying, ensure you provide the pros and cons of that which you want your teen to do or not do.
Use real life examples to buttress your opinions or share your own relevant examples.
Allow them contribute to the conversation, and not just a one way thing of dishing out instructions.
Empathize with them and respect their opinion.
Allow them come up with options and guide them in making decisions.
Set rewards and consequences in place for good behavior and for disobedience.
Don’t ever forget the place of the Creator, He is ever faithful, ever sure!
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Hitting a child is bad enough, filming and posting on social media is evil!
Many thanks for your time and attention!
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