Back in the days when I was in higher institution, if there was anything I look forward to at home after the school has closed for the semester or on a break was my time with my dad.
As soon as I return home, he would buy my favorite meat, play this song by Shola Allyson: “Mo ti figba kan ri joomo tuntun, ko soun to dabi omo.....”(apology to my non Yoruba speaking friends, follow me in the spirit 😀), and danced alongside while I just sat there,.devouring the meat and watch in admiration, he was and still a great dancer.
My goodness....it’s such a beautiful memory!
How could I do anything that will make this man not be happy with me? I thought, each time he expresses his love for me without reservations.
God forbid bad thing, “tufwakwa!”
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In the few years I have worked with teenagers, many teen girls are involved in sexual relationship not because they don’t have home training or the fear of God, but because there is a vacuum that is available to be explored.
Absentee father is doing a lot of damage to our children, both boys and girls.(my focus today is on girls.)
We understand the situation of the country,...we must do the needful to make ends meet, also, we must create time for what is important and since children do not beg to be born, we must ensure we are available for them.
Talking about availability, it isn’t about being with them 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, it is about making the little time you spend with them count.
Even if it is once in a week you get to see them, intentionally create memories that will stay with them a long time.
Fatherhood isn’t just about provision, it is about getting involved in your child’s life and more....
“What are you saying ma’am?..:::I know my child very well,.... I buy gifts for her, cloths,..::shoes and enough pocket money,..:in fact, she is using the latest gadget now....no boy will use any material thing to entice her!”
Hmmm,....please in all thy buying for your daughter, ensure you are connected to them...
How well do you know your child?
Do you know your preteens and teens best friend or friends?
Do you know any of her teacher’s name?
Do you know her favorite cartoons or TV program or books?
Do you know her best color?
Do you know her favorite teacher or celebrity?
What of his/her favorite food or drink?....you think it doesn’t matter?
All these little details are what sexual abusers deploy to win the heart of your teenagers.....
Have you equipped her on how to handle advances from the opposite sex?
Oh, you think boys won’t approach your daughter for relationship ‘with benefits’?
Can she talk to you about her crush?
If you know how much your daughter seek to connect with you,
Share stuff with you,
Have you shared life experiences and lessons with her,
Long for you to tell her she is beautiful,
Pay attention to her,......etc
You will calm down and just give that girl a hug and assure her you will always be there, no matter what.....
This will be far more effective to prevent her from falling for the sweet-tongued guy who is acting nice just to be under her skirt than the usual :
“if you carry belle penren, I will disown you!” threatening words you utter all the time.
If you as a father cannot answer any of the above questions in the affirmative, today is the day of salvation (😀), repent and make restitution.
Take your daughter out, apologize for past mistakes, tell her you are now “born again” and old things have passed away, all things have now become new.
Then go ahead and share a hilarious story about you or anyone while growing up or any funny story....,The aim is to break the ice and when you both are relaxed.....communication will flow easily.
Do this over and over again.
You will get to know what is happening in her life and how to guide her rightly.
Cheers to your success, I am rooting for you!
Hellen Oladele.
Teens Counsellor.
Pix: My Septuagenarian Dad ❤️
Let’s see who will not read this post, by their comment of “happy birthday sir”, we shall know them.😀😀
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