Stop the comparison (part 2)

There was a preacher who had two teenage sons. The first son was musically inclined, he taught himself how to play the instrument and because they lived in the mission house, he was close to the church and at every opportunity he had, he was there enjoying himself while learning how to play different musical instruments. The parents were excited about their first son choice and gave him all the support he needed. Unfortunately, they wanted the younger son to follow his brother’s footsteps and that wasn’t going to be the case.....his interest was in other things.... But his father wouldn’t stop rebuking him....”look at your elder brother, can’t you emulate him.....eshin iwaju ni ti eyin n wo n sare” (the horse in the front set the pace for the one coming at the back) Days grew into months,...months into years, the parents never bothered to ask the boy what his interests are....they just wanted him to learn how to play musical instruments.....and the comparisons wouldn’t stop either. He became disrespectful and rebellious, and typical of a Nigerian parent, the rod of correction was generously deployed....only that in this case, it didn’t perform its duty of correction! One day, he had enough and he ran away from home to his friends.... Long story cut short, the poor boy was found in a gay bar after two weeks of serious searching... His father then took him for deliverance service!.... Don’t you think the he needed to be delivered of the evil spirit? As we embark on the journey of parenthood, we begin to compare notes with other parents we know.... “Were you ankles swollen during pregnancy?” “At what age did your child start eating adult food?” “At what months did your child start growing teeth?” “When did you child start school?” .....and lots more... All these aren’t bad in itself because it enables us to track our child’s growth.... early intervention in any form of developmental issues our child might have can be very effective. But the problem arise when instead of observing our child’s progress and seeking help if needed, we start comparing with siblings or other children. “Look at that boy, you are of thesame age, he can read and write”,..... Comparisons is one of the many causes of low self esteem because at a time, the child will feel like he isn’t good at anything and begin to downplay his abilities and stop trying totally. Another harmful effect of comparisons is hatred of the person the child is being compared to, whether siblings or otherwise. If your child is laid back on a particular skill or subject or whatever you think his age appropriate for him, instead of comparing, there are ways to help the child....watch out for part 3 of this post tomorrow. Any concern you feel like sharing about your teens, feel free to share in the comment session or send a DM. Do have a productive day.