Parenting Teens

“When your children are teenagers, it is important to have a dog in the house so that someone is happy to see you” - Nora Ephron. This quote gave me a good laugh as I reminisced the happenings of the old days! As teens back then(my friends and I do share stuff about our parents),anytime parents were out of the house, children, especially teens would act like released prisoners, .....I mean the kind of freedom a woman’s breast feels at the end of a working day when the pair is released from the confines of “koste” or girdle bra! ...only women will understand this... Because our parents back then most times find faults with anything and everything their teens do or didn’t do....those creatures they expected to behave like adults yet treated like children.... As a teen, ......You are found sitting....”have you finished your chores?” If the answer is yes..which of course would be most times..(you wouldn’t dare sit when chores aren’t completed if you aren’t ready for the tongue lashing that would follow). “Hope it’s clean? Se ki n se ifokufo to fo funmi lana!(hope it’s not the nonsense you washed yesterday?) .....You are found doing chores, you hear, “how many years will it take you to finish what you are doing?” My dad would add..”bi omo se n kose lon ko iyara”(as you learn to do the work, you learn to do it fast) My sweet dad would go to the extent of taking over whatever chores and show you how to do it fast. .....You are found playing, “so there is no book for you to be reading abi, it’s only to be playing, c’mon go and read your book!” .....You are found reading, “are you sure you are reading or you are just looking at the pages of the book?” Lolzz .....You cry when beating, “se it’s this cane you are crying for, “je n kuku na e daadaa ki n mo nkan ton sunkun si”(let me beat you very well so I am sure why you are crying) .....You are beating but didn’t cry, you hear, “eleyi ti jin giri sinu iya, egba o ran mo”(this one is used to beating, it doesn’t feel the pain anymore) .....The cane want to land on your head and you use your hand to dodge it, you hear, “sebi you want to beat me, take the cane and beat your own mother!” Like seriously, whatever you do, they must find something to say.... So anytime they are out of the house, it is enjoyment gallore.... Kudos to our parents, they did their best with the best they know and the resources at their disposal. From back then, there were decisions I took and the things I wouldn’t do to my children. Fast forward to this time, I intentionally ensure I don’t comment on everything my child do or didn’t do....I choose my battles. A very important aspect of their lives is play, so I allow them....guided play of course... No one likes to stay around a nag, it’s not everything you sweat over.... For the major things you notice it’s causing issues, communicate your expectations to your teen, give time allowance to learn and master, set boundaries and consequences....be consistent. Zig Ziglar says: “Kids go where there is excitement, they stay where there is love” If you are always nagging, yelling, punishing your teens all in the time in the name of “not taking nonsense”, please get a dog who would be happy when it sees you....a word is enough for the wise! Do have a productive day.