Knock before you enter , part 2.

There are so many schools of thought to this seemingly innocuous request by an eight year old boy. “What does an eight year know that he is asking his mum to knock before entering!” “It means he is doing something wrong and he doesn’t want his parents to know!” “Eh children of these days sha, in the house where I’m paying rent? Nonsense!” “I will tell him, when he can afford his own apartment, he can decide who knocks or not, but as long as he is under my roof, I do as I wish!” “Everyone have the right to his/her privacy, so the boy is right!” Different school of thoughts..... This post isn’t to say who is right or wrong, we are all right, depending on the side/lens we are viewing from. But then, so many things could have triggered the action of the boy. It could have been that was what his parents tell him often and he is just doing copy copy It could be that he just saw it in a movie or cartoon. It could be that he is really upset about a thing his parents had done and this is his way of responding. It could be that there was no connection between him and his parents and that action is the best way he knows to handle it.- either to seek attention or to be left alone....for a while., -an eight year old can’t be in isolation for too long. It could have been anything really..... Whichever way or whatever the situation that led to this, the first thing the parent need to do is obey his wish.... This will enable you to find out later where that was coming from.... In brother Shagg’s voice: “Shebi it’s to knock before I enter, that one na small thing baba mi!”😀 That way, you have quench the fire of whatever emotions behind the action because the truth is he might be expecting resistance from you..... Your child can’t be acting up and you are joining in the party, who is the adult? Who should be more emotionally intelligent and stable? After the heat is off, connect with him....e.g: *by speaking his love language (this doesn’t have to be the day the knock before entering brouhaha, give him some space) *affirm him *praise every attempt to do the right thing, no matter how little or the end result *get interested in what excites him *play game or watch a movie together etc The aim is to build connection for effective correction so as to eventually influence your child’s behavior whether you are with him or not. Enough of “I don’t take nonsense” and controlling attitude which later lead to rebellion, lies and secrecy. In this age of many wolves out there, you cannot afford not to be your child’s ally, confidant...gist partner. Just as your feelings, emotions are valid, so is your child’s....don’t trivialize their feelings.....model empathy. Many thanks for your time and attention.