During the program on StarFM 101.1on Monday, we discussed "resumption tips for parents", and we mentioned that parents should create time to listen to the child.
A woman called in and said:
"Some children are very stubborn, there is nothing you tell them that they will listen, they want to have their way all the times, you tell them you are busy, they wouldn't listen, they want answers there and then".
She lamented.
A child is wired to believe everything his/her parents says.
If your child tells you he wants a car or aeroplane and you promised to buy for him, he believes you hook line and sinker!
"My daddy will by a car for me today, I will ride it, vuuuuuuu,!"
...already bragging about it to his friends and those who have plans have a ride will start aligning with him, he could practically ask them to do anything for him and there would be no resistance!
His mum too would take advantage of the situation and make the boy do her bidding without questioning.
"If you don't eat your food and finish it, I will tell your daddy not to buy your car again!"
She would threatened!
In no time, he would consume the food,-
"Mummy, I have finished my food!" He announced, turning his plate upside down and hitting it with his cutlery, just to drive home his point.
The disappointment would come when the father returns home later in the day.
Enthusiastic and without any iota of doubt...
"My daddy is back, he has bought my car!"
....he says to himself or whoever cares to listen.
Only for his daddy to return, exhausted, having spent 3hours in traffic for a 30 minutes journey, having dealt with impossible client or insatiable boss and all that ....
"Welcome daddy, where is my car?"
He asked, grinning from ear to ear, looking at his daddy's face expectantly.
"What car?"
"Mtchew!, you this boy, you don't even know anything, car???, is that how they just buy car??"
The innocent boy, confused, his expression changed, his brain unable to process what is happening...
In his mind, "Is this not my daddy?"
"Did he not promise me a car?"
This time, suppressing a cry..
He blurted out, almost in tears...
"Daddy, you promised to buy a car for me when you are coming back!"
By this time, the father is almost unconscious of the little creature standing beside him, lost in his own thought, only to be jolted back to life by the young man's question!
...chills of fear ran through his spine, he went into panic mode and release his lung in what will come out as a loud cry as the salty water finds it's way into his mouth.....
The deception!
...hope dashed!
By his own father!
The person he loved and trusted the most!
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Another scenario....
Mummy is going out and patience is crying that she wants to follow mummy and mummy know for sure that she wouldn't take Patience with her, then she says;
"Go and wear another cloth"
Or "Go and wear your slippers/sandal, I will wait for you!"
But immediately Patience ran inside to take whatever, the mother took to her heels...
By the time Patience returns, she found out the truth and drama starts....
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The above two scenarios and more... have conditioned children not to believe their parents, so when your child comes to you and ask that he wants to tell you something and you say:
"Give me 10 minutes"
He knows your 10 minutes would not come, isn't that what you said yesterday and the day before!
Because he/she has realised over time that your words means absolutely nothing.
What then do you do?
Start to redeem your image!
Like Praise Fowowe would say:
"You will have to behave yourself out of a situation you behave yourself into!"
Start by saying something and actually do what you say.
No more promise and fail!
No more empty threat!
Let your no means no and yes means yes!
It will take you double of the time and energy you would have spent in achieving the same result in the first place, but it is worth it...
"There are no stubborn children, we only have ignorant parents" - Taiwo Akinlami.
Many thanks for your time and attention.
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