#parenting

I was at my children school the other day and and a mother and her son was standing about ten meters from my location.

The mother was saying something to the boy of about 3 to 4years old. In the twinkle of an eye, her hands had landed on his back, within a short time, the salty water were coming from his eyes in torrents!

I moved towards them and enquired, she said:
"I was telling him to collect his lunch bag, he didn't answer me, if I didn't beat him like that, he will not answer!"

Violence is indeed the first refuge of the incompetent!

Parents often say their children do not listen until they yell or hit.

It means you have made yelling an habit and your kids already know the pattern -"if mummy hasn't yell, she doesn't mean it", so they ignore you until you yell!

I know the feeling, it can be frustrating!

Another effect of yelling is that it upsets kids, makes them feel unsafe and they go into either fight or flight!

In an attempt to defend themselves, they become less effective at listening and lose sight of your message.

As an adult, we need to deliberately and consciously uninstall the programming system that raised us, - yelling, hitting, labelling etc before we can raise a new generation of a balanced child in a calm, loving and supporting environment.

A lot can be achieved when we invest quality time in building relationship with our children instead of yelling and hitting all the time.

#connect
#correct
#redirect
#parenting
#beintentional
#bedeliberate
#theredirectacademy